Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
