Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
