I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
