I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize