he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You're like the curious george of whores
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
