Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
