I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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