omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You are a genius and a whore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
