On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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