i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
