Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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