She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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