what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
