Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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