Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
