i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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