I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
