I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hell yes lets make some ravioli
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
