for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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