Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize