Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize