Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
