He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
