Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
