i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
