you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
