Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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