wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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