you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
