I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
