Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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