She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize