im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is classic penis vs brain.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
