Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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