I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
