i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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