How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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