Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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