You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
