so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
