you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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