Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
