he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
