To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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