I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
