dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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