the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
