ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Drunk is not a location!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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