How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
