can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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