if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
