pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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