put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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