maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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