And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
no, he came in my armpit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
