I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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