somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
