SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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