Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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