so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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