You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
