I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
