Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize