And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
