I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
