Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.