Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?