I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science