Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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