Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I skipped work to stalk him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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