You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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